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Tickle Your Funny Bone: Church Bulletin “Bloopers”

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This list of funny church bulletin “bloopers” is making the email rounds with a note to share with others – have a laugh!

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*  The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

*  The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

*  Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

*  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

*  Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

*  Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

*  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

*  Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

*  Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So that ends a friendship that began in their school days.

*  A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

*  At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

*  Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

*  Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

*  Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

*  The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

*  Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

*  The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

*  This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

*  Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

*  The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

*  Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

*  The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

*  Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

*  The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours’.


 

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