With the Supreme Court recently weighing in on abortion rights, now is a perfect time for this MicahsCall exclusive from Peter Wong.

This article provides an Example Dialogue on how we, as moderate and progressive Christians, might effectively talk with our more conservative brothers and sisters in Christ (“Christian Right”) on affirming abortion rights (pro-choice), while leaving each other whole and with goodwill at the end of the discussion.

The Example Dialogue is excerpted from the author’s syllabus entitled: Let’s Dialogue With The Christian Right—A syllabus of strategies, moral values, and Biblical citations (hereafter referred to as “Syllabus”). The Syllabus explains the underlying framework, rationale, and strategy in dialoguing with a member of the Christian Right on “hot button” topics such as abortion, same-sex marriage, and embryonic stem cell research. The Syllabus is intended to stimulate discussion and additional research on how to dialogue with the Christian Right, and is suitable for use in workshops and small group discussions. The Syllabus will be available for free downloads from www.micahscall.org in Summer 2007. The anticipated table of contents is in the Appendix.

2. LANGUAGE OF MORAL VALUES

A rational discussion with our brothers and sisters on the Christian Right on “hot button” topics can be emotionally explosive and damaging to family relationships and friendships, if not approached with the recognition of and sensitivity to the other side’s deep religious convictions. This is why we often studiously avoid such discussions with friends and family.

We take the approach here that any such discussion on “hot button” topics must be based on a common set of moral values. Because as Christians we are disciples of Jesus and acknowledge him as Lord, as our Lord, Jesus’ teachings must be our supreme moral guide. Jesus’ teachings are the “lens” by which we scrutinize our actions and decisions. Therefore, Jesus’ teachings are the backbone of the Example Dialogue below. A more detailed discussion of Jesus’ teachings as our supreme moral guide (along with a catalogue of Jesus’ teachings) is provided in the Syllabus.

3. RULES FOR NONCONFRONTATIONAL DIALOGUE

Below is a set of nonconfrontational dialogue rules. They are similar to those rules espoused in marriage counseling sessions to deescalate potentially confrontational dialogue between spouses. Here, we have modified the rules to deescalate a potentially confrontational dialogue with a member of the Christian Right on “hot button” topics. More discussion of these rules is in the Syllabus.

· Rule 1: It Is Not about Winning. Set your expectations at the beginning of the dialogue that it is not about winning.

· Rule 2: Engage in Active Listening. Use an expression like “I understand that you believe _________” to communicate to the other side that you have been attentive to and understand what they are saying about their beliefs and values.

· Rule 3: Use “I” Messages. Respond by using an expression like “I feel (or believe) that ____________,” which is a nonaccusatory and nonjudgmental way to express your beliefs and values.

· Rule 4: Listen for Underlying Primal Concerns. Try to understand the other side’s primal concerns that perhaps lie beneath the camouflage of rhetoric (e.g., simply citing a Biblical passage as authority, when fear of foreigners is an underlying primal concern). If we can understand the other side’s primal concern, we may be able to deal with it and make more progress in the dialogue.

· Rule 5: Establish Common Moral Values. Try to establish a common set of moral values based on Jesus’ teachings (e.g., Golden Rule, justice, righteousness, compassion, sharing abundance, mercy, reconciliation, forgiveness, tolerance, accepting the outsider, peacemaking, and stewardship) and then pursue the discussion from this common set of moral values.

· Rule 6: Pose Thoughtful Questions. Pose thoughtful questions that flow naturally from the common set of moral values, which may cause the other side to reflect and rethink his/her position. We emphasize thoughtful questions, as opposed to assertions, because they tend to elicit a less defensive response. Thoughtful questions are the agency of conversation and dialogue.

· Rule 7: Illuminate a Moral Dilemma. The key is to attempt to illuminate a moral dilemma, based on posing a countervailing set of moral values based on Jesus’ teachings, exposing unconsidered facts, exploring unappreciated consequences, probing inconsistencies, and/or dealing with primal concerns.

· Rule 8: Seek Agreement on Sub-Issues: Although we may succeed in illuminating a moral dilemma, very likely that moral dilemma will not be resolved during this one encounter. Rather than pushing for resolution of the moral dilemma, it may be more appropriate to shift gears and try to come to some understanding and agreement on a set of sub-issues.

The above rules can make possible a nonconfrontational framework for dialogue that will leave everyone whole and perhaps cause a person on an opposing side to rethink his/her position, either during the dialogue or after reflection. These rules set the context for the Example Dialogue below.

Caveats: The Example Dialogue below is an illustration, not a prescription. The dialogue is in skeletal form and missing after each thoughtful question is the implied admonition to listen to the other side’s response, and if the response is not what you expect, invite further explanation and discussion. To be thoroughly prepared, you should be ready to discuss in greater depth Jesus’ teachings and facts presented in the Example Dialogue. Citations to supporting Biblical text and facts are provided. Also, there are more arguments presented here than can be discussed in a single conversation, and you may not feel that all the arguments are equally compelling. Use only the ones that you feel most confident in discussing and that you believe are the most compelling. In addition, consider reordering the Example Dialogue arguments in a manner that makes more sense to you. Of course be prepared to deviate from your plan depending on the other side’s response.

Depending on the circumstances, you might consider deviating from the emphasis on thoughtful questions and using a different mix of assertions, explanations, and questions. Furthermore, your dialogue should be supplemented, where appropriate, with your own personal examples, anecdotes, and arguments not covered below. In sum, you will need to customize the Example Dialogue to your personal style and spontaneously adapt your dialogue to the situation.

Active Listening

1. I understand that your position on abortion is based on the Sixth Commandment, “Thou shall not kill,” found in Exodus 20:13.

2. I also believe that life is precious, but in the case of abortion, I am pro-choice.

3. Is this a subject you feel comfortable in talking about—sharing points of view?

Rigidly Obeying Rules and Moral Codes

4. I understand that your belief in the Sixth Commandment, “Thou shall not kill,” (Exodus 20:13) guides your decision and that for you this rule is inviolate—there is no compromise. Is this correct?

5. Do you think rules are an end in themselves, or should we take into account other considerations that might modify our stance on a rule?

6. Are you aware that when Jesus was questioned about rigidly obeying rules by the Pharisees (the moralists of Jesus’ day), he often taught that rules should not deter us from doing good or being merciful? For example, Jesus healed a cripple in the synagogue on the Sabbath, which was against the Sabbath law (Matthew 12:9-13) and he forgave the adulteress whom the Pharisees wanted to stone according to Moses’ law (John 8:3-11). Would you agree with Jesus’ actions in these situations?

Unrealized Inconsistencies

7. Are there any circumstances in which the Sixth Commandment “Thou shall not kill” should be trumped as the prevailing moral value? Self-Defense? Time of War? Death Penalty?

8. In each of the above cases, why would the Sixth Commandment be trumped? What would be the countervailing moral value that would prevail over the Sixth Commandment?

9. Would you agree that we sometimes consciously or subconsciously choose other moral values that trump the Sixth Commandment?

Pro-Life Stance and Embryonic Stem Cell Research

10.Are you aware that on July 18, 2006, Bill Frist, then Senate Republican Majority Leader and also a medical doctor, led the Senate in passing a bill lifting restrictions on federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, even though he knew President Bush promised to veto the bill?

11.Bill Frist phrased the moral issues as follows: “How do we balance pro-life with the potential for new life and health offered by stem cell research?” (Holly Yeager, “Bush renews threat on stem cell research,” Financial Times, Tuesday, July 18, 2006.)

12.Apparently, in the weighing and balancing of the moral issues regarding the destruction of embryos, he came down on the side of new life and health benefits for the many. Would you agree?

13.Are you aware that many conservative Christians, including former First Lady Nancy Reagan, take a view similar to Bill Frist with regard to being pro-life and also supporting stem cell research?

14.How are the pro-life issues with regard to the destruction of embryos different in abortion as opposed to stem cell research?

Mexico City Legalizes Abortion

15.Are you aware that recently (on April 24, 2007) the Mexico City legislature legalized abortion against the strong opposition of the Catholic Church? In fact the Catholic Church threatened lawmakers with excommunication. (Jeremy Schwartz, “Mexico City legislature makes abortion legal,” Cox New Service, San Francisco Chronicle, April 25, 2007, p. A6.)

16.Are you surprised given that Mexico is a very staunch Catholic Country?

17.It was common knowledge that illegal abortions were wide spread in Mexico—estimates run as high as 500,000 per year. (Monica Campbell, “Mexico City poised to legalize abortion,” San Francisco Chronicle, April 20, 2007, p. A17.)

18.Wealthy women in Mexico have access to high-end private clinics, whereas, others must turn to unmonitored clinics, midwives, fly-by-night practioners, and home drug concoctions for abortions. (Ibid.)

19.Estimates are that 10,000 women per year are hospitalized in Mexico by botched abortions. (Ibid.)

20.One Mexico City assemblywoman supporting legalized abortion explained that illegal abortions are a public health problem and that she was voting in favor of a woman’s life. (Ibid.)

21.Can you understand where this assemblywoman is coming from?

22.Would you be willing to turn back the clock in America to the abortion conditions in Mexico--before legalization?

Supremacy of Jesus’ Teachings

23.Let’s see if we can find some common ground based on our shared Christian values. It will allow us to understand how and why we have a difference of opinion.

24.As Christians we acknowledge Jesus as Lord—would you agree?

25.Because Jesus is our Lord, we believe his life and teachings must be our supreme moral guide—would you agree?

26.As Christians we believe that Jesus is the Son of God—would you agree?

27.Would you agree that, since Jesus is the Son of God, his teachings should take precedence over other Biblical writers who are of less stature than the Son of God?

28.Because Jesus is our Lord, when confronting a complex moral issue, we should ask ourselves: What would Jesus do based on his teachings? Would you agree?

Golden Rule Is a Fundamental Moral Value

29.Would you agree that as Christians we should abide by Jesus’ teachings?

30.One of his teachings is that we should treat others as we would want to be treated, often called the Golden Rule. (Matthew 7:12, adapted modern language) Are you familiar with the Golden Rule?

31.Jesus taught that the Golden Rule is the essence of all the moral codes and teachings in the Old Testament.

32.Are you aware that all the great religions of the world teach some form of the Golden Rule as a fundamental moral value?

33.Would you agree that as the essence of all the moral codes and teachings in the Old Testament, the Golden Rule should be one of our fundamental moral values?

Application of Golden Rule to Fetus

34.Would you engage in a thinking exercise with me, applying the Golden Rule to the question of abortion, so we can attempt to explore what Jesus would do?

35.The Golden Rule asks us to stand in the shoes of another and think about how we might want to be treated.

36.As I understand it, you have “stood in the shoes” of the fetus in the first trimester and feel that the Sixth Commandment, “Thou shall not kill,” applies to the fetus. Is this correct?

37.Are you aware that other people may disagree on whether the fetus in the first trimester is a fully human life and, therefore, whether the Sixth Commandment applies?

Application of Golden Rule to a Pregnant Woman

38.Now, let’s apply the Golden Rule to the woman so we can examine the other side of the abortion issue and attempt to understand the countervailing concerns of the pregnant woman. Is this acceptable to you?

39.If you were standing in the shoes of a pregnant woman in her first trimester, would you (as the woman) want to be criminalized for deciding to have an abortion?

40.If you (as the woman) were poor and lived in a state that outlawed abortion, would you think it fair that other women who are wealthier could travel to another state where it is legal to get a safe abortion?

41.Before abortions were made legal, women sometimes subjected themselves to illegal underground abortions. What do you think could possibly drive a woman to jeopardize her health and possibly her life?

42.How would you feel (standing in the shoes of the woman) about being forced to undergo an unsafe underground abortion?

Freedom of Choice

43.Would you agree that freedom is a fundamental value that we can all subscribe to?

44.Would you like to have someone tell you what you can do or not do with your body?

45.Using Jesus’ fundamental moral law—the Golden Rule—assume that you are standing in the shoes of a woman in her first trimester. Would you want to have control over decisions affecting your body?

46.How would you feel if the government told you what to do with your body?

Losing Control over Decisions Concerning Your Body

47. Let’s do another thinking experiment on the effect the government’s control of a woman’s abortion decision might have on the woman. Is this agreeable?

48.Assume the government decided it was morally wrong to prevent the conception of life—that we are interfering with God’s will for us to be fruitful and multiply” as found in Genesis 1:28. Assume further that we as a national policy need to increase our population to compete with India and China economically. Having babies is our patriotic duty!

49.As a consequence, assume the government has criminalized the use of contraceptives while having sex. Further, the manufacture, sale, and purchase of birth control pills, IUDs, diaphragms, condoms, etc. are illegal, as are tubal ligations and vasectomies.

50.How would you feel about the government intruding on the privacy of your sex life and taking control over your body in regard to reproduction?

51.Does this give you some sense of what a woman contemplating the awful and fretful choice of an abortion might feel?

Unconsidered Facts

52.Are you familiar with the new study by the Center for Reason, which found that Christians had the same rate of abortions as non-Christians? Christians had 570,000 abortions in the year 2000. (“The Landscape of Abortion,” March 2006, under Reports at www.centerforreason.com.)

53.Would you agree, based on this data, that many who are now seeking abortions acknowledge Jesus as Lord and are good people who made a mistake?

54.If you had a daughter who came to you pregnant (as a result of atypical sexual behavior on her part), would you want her to have a choice regarding an abortion or would you force her to have the baby?

Unappreciated Consequences

55.Are you aware that there are a substantial number of children, especially children of color and those with mental and physical problems, who may not get adopted? (“Fostering Instability,” Editorial, San Francisco Chronicle, Sunday, February 5, 2006.)

56.These children will go into the state foster care system and this system is overcrowded and failing to meet state and federal standards for health and safety. (Ibid.)

57.Would you agree that if abortions were outlawed, there would be more children flooding our system for adoption or entering the foster care system?

58.I believe that we need more funding for the adoption and foster care system—would you agree?

59. Would you be willing to substantially increase your taxes to improve the foster care system?

60.Would you be willing to adopt a child of color to ensure that child has a healthy and safe Christian upbringing?

61.Or, would you be willing to become a foster care parent, to make sure that those children not adopted are raised in a healthy and safe environment?

62.Are you aware that over 75 percent of unmarried teenage mothers end up on welfare? (“Teen Pregnancy—So What?” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, February 2004, at www.teenpregnancy.org.)

63.Would you be willing to increase welfare support to accommodate the increase in unmarried teenage mothers resulting from making abortions illegal?

Dealing with Primal Concerns

64.I wonder if possibly you want to overturn the laws allowing abortion because you feel that for the mother to have the baby is a logical consequence of promiscuous behavior.

65.Would you agree that Jesus was compassionate in sacrificing his life for us on the cross? (John 3:16.)

66.I believe that if Jesus’ took an attitude of punishment towards us, he would never have come to down to earth and sacrificed himself on the cross for us—would you agree?

67.Are you familiar with Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan?

68.Would you agree that the parable is about the Good Samaritan’s compassion for the injured traveler on the road? Are you aware that Jesus commanded, “Go and do likewise.” (Luke 10:37)

69.Are you familiar with the story of the adulteress in John 8: 3-11? In that story the Pharisees wanted to punish the woman for breaking Moses’ law regarding adultery, which would have required stoning her.

70.Are you aware that Jesus said that those without sin should cast the first stone and everyone left without stoning her?

71.Would you agree that Jesus showed compassion and mercy to the woman, rather than punishment—as the Pharisees wanted?

72.As a Christian, I believe that Jesus would want us to be compassionate and merciful, rather than seeking punishment, especially with young women who may have become pregnant through youthful indiscretion.

Moral Dilemma

73.Would you agree that the issue of abortion is a very complex moral issue with many competing moral values, facts, and consequences to be considered?

My Position

74.My pro-choice stance is based on the following considerations: (a) I want the woman to choose—I don’t want the government to control her decision on what to do with her body; (b) I don’t want a woman to be criminalized for a mistake or indiscretion; (c) I don’t want a woman to be forced, in some circumstances, to seek an unsafe underground abortion; (d) I don’t want whether a woman can obtain an abortion to be based on what state she lives in; and (e) I don’t want whether a woman can have an abortion to depend on how wealthy she or her family is—with the ability to travel to a state where she can get a legal abortion.

Shift to Agreement on Sub Issues

75.Let’s change gears and talk about another aspect of abortions. Do you feel comfortable in continuing our conversation?

76.Would you support programs and policies that reduce the abortion rate by preventing unwanted pregnancies?

77.Are you aware that since the 1990s, teenage abortion rates have been dropping? In fact, the teenage abortion rates are dropping because of the teaching of contraceptives and abstinence.

78.If a teenager is going to have sex, he/she should have information about and access to contraceptives, as well as information about abstinence—would you agree?

79.If we persuade women to not have abortions and/or we restrict access to abortions, one consequence may be an increased number of unwed mothers and their children, and/or more children requiring adoptions or entering the foster care system. Would you agree?

80.Would you consider increasing your taxes or charitable contributions to improve the foster care system, adoption agencies, and services for needy pregnant women, unwed mothers, and their children—including, financial and housing assistance, counseling and medical care?

LET’S DIALOGUE WITH THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT

A syllabus of strategies, moral values, and Biblical citations.

1. Introduction

2. Personal Story

3. The Christian Right Is Not Monolithic in Belief

4. Understanding the Conservative Mindset

5. Language of Moral Values

6. Rules for Nonconfrontational Dialogue

7. Supremacy of Jesus’ Teachings as Moral Values

A. Competing Moral Values

C. Ethic of Reciprocity as Embodied in the Golden Rule and Second Great Commandment

8. Other Generally Accepted Moral Values

9. Exposing Unconsidered Facts

10. Exploring Unappreciated Consequences

11. Probing Unrealized Inconsistencies

12. Dealing with Primal Concerns

13. Illuminating a Moral Dilemma: Weighing and Balancing

14. Shift to Agreement on Sub-Issue

15. Funneling the Dialogue

16. Pro-Choice: A Complete Example Dialogue

17. Same-Sex Marriage: A Complete Example Dialogue

18. Embryonic Stem Cell Research: A Complete Example Dialogue

19. Global Warming: A Complete Example Dialogue

20. Concluding Remarks

 

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